It has become epidemic.
It used to be more of a Pinhead kind of thing. But it has graduated.
I don’t know about you, but if I’m not sure of what someone is talking about, I look it up. There’s this little thing, you might have heard of it, I don’t know, it’s called GOOGLE? It’s where, when people are using terms you aren’t sure of, or are talking about a particular subject you may be unaware of, you look it the hell up.
Then you don’t look like a dumbass.
Of course, if you don’t care, by all means, feel free.
We will point and laugh. Not the same way as if you were wearing stupid pants, but ya know, similar.
Eric: My head hurts.
Red: That’s your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity.
~ That 70s Show
I get that some people have Dumbass Syndrome. They just can’t help themselves. Are they born that way? (I bet they think Lady Gaga is singing about them.)
My colleague says people aren’t stupid. They’re just naïve.
Mmmm….I’m pretty sure they’re just stupid.
Yep, that makes me a bitch. I already know that.
There are really three levels of Dumbass: stupid, clueless, and ok fine, naïve.
- People who drive slow in the fast lane on the freeway. I’d have to go with clueless on this one, but feel free to disagree. Now this type of person can encompass anyone really – no need to point out a specific age, race, religion, or sex. Except, aren’t they always wearing hats?
- People who don’t know they can purchase an eBook without a Kindle. I’m gonna go for naïve Alex, for $100. No offense, truly, because SO many people have no idea about digital devices and such. Many still don’t have smartphones and don’t know what that even means because it sounds scary and intimidating. My dad still won’t use a computer (but Mom bought him a Kindle cause she rocks).
My books, as well as many other authors, are now Amazon exclusive due to KDP Select, which means you can borrow one book per month free. They also allow us to put our books up free five days out of every ninety – a good deal for you, dear readers.
So practically every day on Twitter and Facebook I remind people that Amazon has free apps for your smartphone, computer, tablet or cloud. People say, “Well, I have a Nook.” So?
“I can’t be any clearer than how crystal clear I am being.” (Name that movie.)
Now those people are NOT THINKING. You can still download Kindle books. Didn’t I just say that Kindle has free apps? I’m still going with naïve but it’s…so…hard.
- Cut us off in line at the grocery store. Okay, that’s a total stupid dumbass move and I’m usually the loud (but still classy) redhead who embarrasses my daughter about it. If I have a cartful, I always offer the guy with the gallon of milk go ahead of me. Especially if he has a nice smile. #justsayin
But when he runs ahead of me and then calls to his wife or friend to bring their giant cart of Mac & Cheese, beer, and coupons over, heads will roll.
Okay, well. I’m only five-four and weigh one-eighteen but still. My tongue will cut a bitch.
- And don’t even get me started on the guy (why is it always a guy?) who told me my humor, nonfiction books will never sell because a woman writing about men isn’t funny. That’s so beyond dumbass, I’m not sure where to start. It says right on my bio “Amazon #1 bestseller” which I suppose a lot of books say but…he could go to Amazon (or, say Google?) and look it up before making said dumbass comments. But he didn’t.
Dumbass Syndrome is on the rise. It affects both sexes, all ages, all races. No one is safe. The only cure I know of? Strapping them to a chair and making them watch Barney. Of course, their brain is then mush and they’re only able to babble incoherently, but it’s better than the idiotic trash they spewed before.
Mama, don’t let your babies grow up to be dumbasses.
- Another Congressional Dumbass Thinks The Onion is Real [Politics] (jezebel.com)
- Kindle Fire Review (thecheapreader.wordpress.com)