Yes, Please Hit On Me. That’s Why I’m Here, Right?
I’m not sure when Twitter, Facebook, Google+, or Pinterest became trolling places for sex, but lately it seems almost every time I check one or the other, some guy is propositioning me, sending me naughty pix (ewww), or asking me something completely inappropriate (I’m thinking ‘Want to play in my dungeon?’ is maybe a euphemism for sex?).
And before you think I think I’m all that, get real. This is happening to women everywhere.
Some prime examples:
- GUY #1: Requests friendship on Facebook. Fine, whatever. I get probably 5-10/day on my personal account. I approve him because it says we have some mutual friends. As soon as I hit add, he’s sent me a private message asking if he can see me naked on Skype.
Um, what gave you that idea, dude? Perhaps my marital status: married? Or maybe that I share book info, resources on branding and marketing, and funny stuff about my family and my husband? Or is it that all redheads are … nope. Not even gonna go there.
Yea, he must be able to tell by my picture that I’m a wanton slut who performs sex tricks on camera for men.
Clearly, he didn’t read anything about me. That would take too much of his time. It must just be easier to proposition a total stranger. I suppose someone, at some point, will say yes?
- GUY #2: Friends me on Google+. Adds me to his ‘girls having sex’ stream. Particularly fun was #ThongThursday. Yea, it’s what you think (the pic of Catwoman with nothing on but ears and a thong with a tail? Um, no.) Listen, I’m no prude and I think the human body is beautiful. And no offense to any of my lesbian and homosexual friends, but I want to look at that about as much as you want to see my husband and I going at it. So, no.
It gets better. I mute him and uncircle, and he sends me a message! Why did you uncircle me?
- GUY #3: Guy on Twitter sends me a DM of his junk. Now this guy acted a decent sort, I had no warning this was, er, headed my way. On a good day, I don’t want to look at that mess. But on a day where I have a migraine and I’m working on client stuff and my own writing…well, let’s just say he hadn’t manscaped.
Honestly, I threw up a little in my mouth at that one.
- GUY #4: Different guy on Twitter. Okay, this happened a while ago but still makes me cringe. As people do on Twitter, we form little circles of friends who comment on each other’s updates. It’s not planned, or some sort of secret handshake exclusive clique, it’s just the same folks who seem to jump in.
So one of the group, a funny, seemingly nice guy, sends me a DM asking if I’d ever heard of (some funny sounding site). I tell him no. He sends me the link with a code.
It’s an Australian sex site, and the code gave me access to his VIP account, where the avatars are ‘anatomically correct.’
Well, thank you Big Spender. Way to impress.
After I stopped laughing, I blocked his ass so fast he didn’t know what happened. For months, he sent messages asking me to unblock him. Give it up, dude.
- GUY #5: Starts asking me questions in DM. Personal, inappropriate questions about my life. I tell him no thanks, He asks if I’m single. I tell him none of his business. He then scolds me at that point for not putting that I’m unavailable in my Twitter bio.
Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I could be a person who doesn’t have to spell out that I’m not available for sex just because I’m female. I must have missed that memo.
If I were being compassionate, I’d say these are sad, little men who are dissatisfied with their lives. But I’m usually not being compassionate, because their trolling becomes my problem when they hit me up.
Is it offensive or simply laughable?
I must say, for all the weirdos (all now blocked and reported, of course), I’ve met lovely, amazing friends, both male and female. Some I’ve met in real life, and they’re awesome. I work with some really wonderful men and I’m not stereotyping that all men do this, so put away your scary teeth.
My husband says I need to put up a picture of myself where I’m tired, headachy, with no makeup. But, no. Why should I drab up (or down) to avoid this kind of B.S.? That’s like blaming a woman for rape because she wore that sexy red dress (or once, after a manager sexually harassed me, my boss told me I should be flattered I was so ‘cute’). Please.
I’m all for light banter, even mild flirting. I’m not offended easily and I’m not a prissy little church lady (I don’t even go to church!). So I guess my question is: at what point did trolling become acceptable, or dare I say, the norm, on social media?
I’d love your thoughts.
Just no pix, please.
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