My Geek Confession on a Dance Floor

 

I am a geek.

Well, let me back up a sec. I feel a person can be passionate about a thing (vodka) or a person (Brad Pitt—though he seriously needs to lose the beard beads. He’s harshing his hotness quotient BIG TIME), or even a television show (“glee”), and not necessarily be a geek (or “gleek”) about them. You may or may not agree with this assertion. I don’t really care.

My point is that I am confessing to you here and now that I am a full-fledged Madonna geek. Have been since “Holiday” (1983) and still am with “Hard Candy” (2009) and the accompanying “Sticky and Sweet” tour. (Hey, I did warn you.) 

I will spare you the bubble gum pop rundown of her early musical career and questionable fashion choices—with the exception of mentioning that her rockin red MAC lipstick applied carefully with a lip brush rocked back then and still does today—as did her smokin Chanel Vamp lips shown in her “Truth or Dare” documentary.

Again, geek. You were warned.

There is no denying the sophistication and influence this Italian-American spitfire has had on the music and fashion world. Madonna’s constant reinvention and sense of illusion is what has had millions of us enraptured, some 25, almost 30 years later.

What I hope to discuss here is the effect she had on my own empowerment—whether helping me to stand up to an idiot boyfriend by repeatedly listening to “Express Yourself” (and ultimately ending that relationship), getting myself out of the dance floor without waiting for some white guy who dances like a white guy to ask (“Into the Groove” and “Vogue”), or to feel comfortable enough with my own sexuality to wear a gorgeous, sexy bra peeking out of a well-tailored jacket on a date (“Justify My Love” or well, come to think of it, any song of hers, actually…).

I laugh at her sense of humor, her ability to poke fun at herself; I’m amazed and thrilled at how many people she has pissed off with her “in your face” sexuality—particularly when it comes to organized religion. I see that as simply what a strong woman is capable of in this male-dominated society.

Listen, disagree (men) all you want. She’s made serious bank and has provided for her children, multiple husbands, boyfriends, countless dancers and crew over the years, and various and sundry charitable causes – even if it took posing naked in a book called SEX to do it.

Yea, she’s kind of a wiggy chick (Letterman and a few curse words, anyone?); wacky outfits (bunny ears for Louis Vuitton, seriously?); Kaballah (though you have to give her credit for popularizing this mystical aspect of Judaism that people had never heard of; heck, I’m Jewish and even I knew very little about it until Madge bridged the gap); the rumors of plastic surgery (come on—gotta be true, right?); and her continued efforts to prove she can act (not. hehe).

If I see Madonna “on the cover of a magazine” (Vogue), time will literally stop while I read it intently from beginning to end, memorizing every word, viewing the pictures in awe of that crazy bod, the cool clothes (albeit sometimes wackadoodle, but still, I like her avant garde style), how her makeup looks—(der), wondering what controversial comment she’s said now, or whether she’s feeding a country for the next 10 years with her multi-millions, something we as a country have failed to do.

University students study Miss M for the marketing machine she is. Ironic, given that she never graduated from college herself. I know I personally have learned several lessons. Have you? (Worth noting here that when I lived in NYC when I met my husband in the early 90s, she moved into his building. We lived in one tiny apartment. She knocked out the walls of four or five—on the Central Park side, of course. We saw her once—bossing her driver. It was great.)

I will end here by saying that I have embraced the cool hotness that is Madonna and will continue to do so as long as she keeps putting it out there. Her detractors are many, and I’m sure she welcomes them as a challenge—she stands up for what she believes in and tells everyone else to basically fuck off. I love it.

I started my daughter’s Madonna musical education years ago, when she was probably four of five (she’s now almost eleven). She can recognize Madonna’s voice pretty much every time, no matter what the song. My boy has picked up the Madonna “name that tune” talent as well. His favorite is “Vogue” right now.

Yea, I know she’s not the best singer. Yea, I know she’s no virtuoso. That’s the beauty of the chick. Madonna KNOWS she’s no virtuoso and yet she still learns and grows. And that’s enough of a role model for me.

Okay, I’ll shut up now.

Geek, out.

 

For a list of my all time favorite Madonna songs, see below (alphabetically listed):

Beautiful Stranger*

Beat Goes On

Candy Perfume Girl*

Crazy For You

Devil Wouldn’t Recognize You*

Don’t Tell Me*

Erotica

Express Yourself

Give it 2 Me

Hollywood*

Human Nature

Hung Up

I Deserve It*

I’ll Remember

Intro the Groove

Live to Tell

Jump**

Justify My Love

Miles Away

Music

Nobody Knows Me*

Oh, Father*

Promise to Try*

Ray of Light

Revolver

Sanctuary*

Secret*

She’s Not Me

Sorry

Something to Remember

Swim*

Take a Bow

Vogue

Voices*

The *asterisk represents my absolute favorite songs, in particular her lesser known songs (with the exception of “Jump”—her best song ever) that I find I go back to again and again.

All tracks are available from the evil empire—oops, sorry—I mean itunes.

Enjoy.

If you don’t already follow me, please do so and I’ll follow you back if you’d like. I can also be found on Twitter @RachelintheOC.