When kids get sick, do men believe it?
That’s the question of the day.
In my home, it takes proof. Otherwise, my husband ships them off to school. Kinda like the army: Be all that you can be, six-year-old! No excuses here, seventh grader!
What IS that?
Let’s deconstruct.
The other day, the little guy felt and smelled warm to me (I know. It’s a chick thing). Husband looked at me like I was nuts. YOU SMELLED HIM? After much eye-rolling, he said, “He played T-ball. Of course he’s warm. Relax. He’s going to school tomorrow.”
Against my better judgment, we sent him. And…we got the call after naptime. Keep in mind, this fella NEVER takes a nap at school. 103 degree fever. (Of course, I’m not in the least surprised.) Can you hear my ears rolling?
I take him right over to the pediatrician. Strep, baby.
Sigh.
Why do I listen to my husband? He of the ‘until he has a fever of 103 and tests positive for strep he’s not sick’ camp? Clearly, I had pegged it. Clearly, mom knows best. My gut knew. My nose knew.
Why do guys ignore the sick?
When it comes to illness: are men from oblivion and women from recognition?
And if I knew my son was sick, why did I listen to my husband? He was being a doof. I knew he was being a doof. He knew I knew he was…wait. This was becoming a Friends episode.
I don’t mean that my husband is an idiot, cause he’s not. Let’s not get pissy here, people. But he intentionally ignored my son’s symptoms for the sake of getting on with the day. It’s as if he believes he can power through nature just by willing it so. Which, um, excuse me, is just soooo uber-Mancode.
It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature. Cause dude, it never freakin’ works. Mother Nature knows.
Of course she does. She’s a chick.
Women, the mothers among us, on the other hand, will nurture that precious child through their illness. Do what we can to care for that baby, make him feel better, nurse the symptoms, do whatever it takes to make the sick GO AWAY quickly; and then get on with life.
I recognize that not all men are like this. My dad is not like this. He’s kind of a hypochondriac to be honest (love you Daddy :-). At the first sign of any of his three girls being ill, we were all stuffed with massive amounts of Vitamin C, tea, Hitchcock, and bed. We loved being sick with Dad. Mom was the one who’d tell us to get our asses to school, dammit (though if we begged, she’d make us awesome matzo ball soup. And then send us off.)
To be honest, my guy wasn’t always like this. No, wait–yes he was. I forgot. He’s a dude. Even when he’s the one who’s sick, we all have to pretend he’s not; until, ya know, he’s so sick I practically have to hospitalize him and by then, we all have to wait on him hand and foot cause THAT’S WHAT GUYS DO.
What’s your take on how men recognize – or fail to recognize – illness? Surely it’s not just me living in my own little Mancode bubble? #deargodsayitisntso
If it is, then yea. I’m fucked.
You should follow Rachel @RachelintheOC or her social media consulting stream @BadredheadMedia, her website Rachelintheoc.com, pick up her humor books A Walk In The Snark and The Mancode: Exposed exclusively on Amazon, or connect with her anywhere there’s no kitchen.
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TL Jeffcoat says
April 25, 2011 at 4:17 pmYou're not completely alone, I'm like your husband in this regard, even if I know they have a fever I'll push them to go to school. I go to work sick. I'm not saying well if I can do it so can they, but I'm just wired this way now and unless someone is proven contagious, like strep can be, or incapacitated, then it's time to go. I'm not blind to the fact or denying they are sick. I just feel, a little medicine, some more Vit C and as long as they can play they can go to school.
I'm not so sure its entirely a gender thing though, I developed this attitude after I started working for my current boss. A woman, she's an extremely hard worker, and expects the same from her employees. It just rubbed off on me I guess. She actually jumped my case for being sick and calling in once, but dudes have more of a tendency towards this.
PS-Yes she's a mother as well so that isn't why she's like that.