You asked for it, so I am sharing…pieces from my latest work, Broken Places (the second in the Broken series — read Broken Pieces first), which I plan to release in 2014). The title comes from Hemingway’s A Farewell To Arms: ‘The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places.’― Ernest Hemingway.
I’d love your feedback.
If you’d like to be a betareader for me when it’s (almost) ready, email me: RachelintheOC at gmail dot com.
Benjamin Wellart via Flickr
NIGHT
It’s what we notice after the fact that carries meaning, in the calm of the glowing moon.
My senses engaged, only you in my sight.
Your scent on my tongue.
Your words embedded in my heart.
Later, I’ll remember your head on my breast, a tender moment of peace inside the blur. Your seed inside me, staking your claim. Days later, months and years, I still carry you, cells merging souls.
Time replacing hope.
It’s only in the quiet spaces between our stars that I feel you now.
One night burning inside us, a memory we return to, an infinite weaving of thought and fiery touch.
What is this inexplicable distance we cross in our dreams?
It is those moments of dark silence that give us our truth – there’s no denying a love that has nothing to prove. It exists on its own.
Or passes us by.
DREAMING
Again, I fall.
But I can’t anymore. The pain intruding, surrounding me in that fleeting moment where the swift air stops so abruptly I cannot breathe…
Leaning into the words you weave softly, so softly.
Frightened I’ll miss the chance that never was.
Afraid I already have.
Sacrificing hope, I wear your love inside, pushed down deeply into that quiet space no man can see…
Because he doesn’t look.
You push me. You pull back. You want me, you walk away.
If you crave my heart, then own it!
Are you {not} man enough to try?
Well, then…it’s time for you to fall.
(Copyright 2013, Rachel Thompson. All rights reserved. If you copy this, I will hunt you down and throw Nutella at you.)
Janie Junebug says
August 22, 2013 at 7:42 amThat is absolutely beautiful. If you need an editor, please let me know. I call myself the slut editor because I’m fast and cheap.
Love,
Janie
RachelintheOC says
August 22, 2013 at 8:41 amLOL, that’s awesome.
thank you so much! My editor, Jessica Swift, is like my sister at this point, but good to know. I have LOTS of author friends who need an editor. Email me your info? RachelintheOC at gmail dot com.
Hugs, Janie. xx
Frances Caballo says
August 22, 2013 at 10:49 amThis is lovely, Rachel. Truly. Kudos to you and all that you’ve achieved.
RachelintheOC says
August 22, 2013 at 11:05 amThank you so much, Frances! I so appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. #hugs
Kate says
October 23, 2013 at 7:06 pmamazing pieces… each word catches u & reflects inside drawing the pictures of this story & also awakening feelings that u once had or just feel now while reading ( as not every author is capable of making u feel smth) but u r making ppl feel & that is awesome… i really enjoyed reading them (pity there were so few)
All the best with publishing it & ur future works ^_^
RachelintheOC says
October 23, 2013 at 9:53 pmThank you so much, Kate. I’m SO glad they resonated with you.
There’s actually much more, but I want to keep some of it for the book, too. I’m about 1/3 of the way in. I’m in rewrites for my social media for authors book now, and a print edition of Broken Pieces (it’s been available as an eBook only since last December). Lots of plates in the air!
Again, thank you for reading and the feedback. Means a lot.
xx
Will Van Stone Jr (@willvanstonejr) says
October 28, 2013 at 6:44 pmI cannot wait to read the entire book. You have quite a way with words that few are able to achieve. What is it you like your betas to do? I’d love to be one of them but my editing skills aren’t the best around.
RachelintheOC says
October 28, 2013 at 8:39 pmAw, thank you so much, Will — I’d love that! Mostly betas look at it for flow — I hire Jessica Swift for structural edits and a copy editor and formatter for the rest. Betas really get a first glimpse, and you can mark it up with questions or leave as is and ask or suggest I clarify something.
Betas are great — really helpful, and it gives authors an insight into how the book will be received. I ask all sorts of people — I don’t want only my mom or a friend to read it. I want 30 people who want to give me input!
That help? I’ll happily add you to my list.
Will Van Stone Jr (@willvanstonejr) says
October 30, 2013 at 4:19 pmIn that case, I’d love to beta. Yes, please add me to the list.