A talented author friend Amy Gigi Alexander pointed me to an opinion piece this past week in a journal (I’m purposely not sending you to it because, well, I’ll get further into that below), that stated with silly and outdated words (which the article author claims she used for effect) that trigger warnings for sexual abuse survivors are ‘poppycock.’ As is the right of the author and of the journal to share opinions, it is our right as readers to disagree. The reaction was swift: negative and uproarious from the survivor community (and I will say here, I like the journal — they typically publish great work).
The article author went on to say that while she herself is a rape ‘victim,’ she didn’t believe that trauma ‘victims’ could be triggered by reading content, and if we are, it’s because we’ve read too much misinformation on PTSD (which she claims is extremely rare and only exists in less than 2% of all (military, accidents, abuse) trauma ‘victims,’ and that all a trigger warning does is give us an opportunity to continue to ‘perpetuate avoidance,’ causing us to insulate ourselves from real life.
Finally, *trigger warning* she goes into an unrelated and extremely graphic description of a video of a young girl in third-world country being buried alive and stoned to death by a group of young men (with no warning and in far greater detail), which is where I stopped reading because, well, I WAS TRIGGERED.*
Let’s deconstruct.
TRIGGER WARNINGS
It wasn’t until I started writing my own book Broken Pieces, where I share my own experience with childhood sexual assault, rape, and other difficult topics, that I started to pay attention to and think about whether my content would trigger any readers who had survived such traumas themselves. I had a psychologist friend take a look, as well as an ER nurse, who had plenty of experience with trauma, particularly with rape kits in a trauma setting. With the exception of a few words (removed before release), they both gave me their approval. (Still, I do give readers plenty of warning that the material, while not graphic, can be triggering and is not appropriate for readers under eighteen.)
At the core, trigger warnings are a yellow light — proceed with caution; not a red light that requires us to stop.
Survivors tend to be more empathetic than non-survivors — not always, of course, but in general terms, our survival tactics make us more prone and sensitive to stories of violence, trauma, graphic content (descriptive or visual), and even loud noises. The hyper-vigilance that many of us lived with for years, even decades, creates these types of reactions. That is, for me, one of the many reasons trigger warnings are quite helpful. It doesn’t mean I won’t read or watch any and all stories, but it gives me pause, and helps me make an informed decision.
As I read this piece, I initially became infuriated by the writer’s use of the term ‘victim.’ Victim is a legal term — the victim of a crime. Sadly, it’s taken on a much more negative connotation in popular culture, that a person (typically and sadly, female), is a ‘victim.’ It’s for this reason that I never use the word, only survivor.
PTSD
As I continued to read her dismissive disrespect of PTSD (and knew that her numbers were very low), I made a mental note to check a report I’d read recently that said that up to 50% of trauma survivors have symptoms of PTSD that affect their daily lives. I realize that she can pull any report that supports her assertions, as can I. Maybe she’s ‘more right,’ maybe I am. Right is unimportant here.
Let’s say her numbers are right. Let’s say that only 2% of all trauma survivors, of all types of trauma worldwide, have PTSD. That’s still awful, and I hope that those people are being treated with the love, compassion, and therapeutic options they need, and not as if they are running away from their problems, as this author states in her article.
GRAPHIC VIOLENCE
I cannot unsee the very detailed description of this young girl’s death, and this was my biggest issue with the article — that it contained extremely graphic content, as if it were some kind of fucked up social experiment. I would never have watched such a video or chosen to read about it in such precise and graphic detail — yes, I know these types of things happen in life, but I make the choice to watch or read about such content, and I would never share that without proper content warning.
I felt her inclusion of that video description was mean-spirited, to me and to many others, and disrespectful to survivors in particular.
For what it’s worth, I refused to comment on the article itself or share it on social media. The writer claims to have respect for ‘victims’ (please); her point is that trigger warnings are useless. I compliment my writer/survivor friend for bringing this article to my attention, and hope that it gives anyone who hasn’t survived some kind of trauma to at least be sensitive and compassionate to those of us who have.
At the core, trigger warnings are a yellow light — proceed with caution; not a red light that requires us to stop. Ultimately, the decision is ours. Providing a trigger warning is kind. It is compassionate. It empowers us to decide.
We’re strong, we’re survivors, and we don’t need you to tiptoe around us. What we ask for with trigger warnings is simply a choice — the same kind of choice our abusers took away.
I’d love YOUR thoughts. Please comment or share your experiences below.
This is my opinion only — I am not a psychologist or healthcare professional. Please consult your own therapist for their opinion.
I’m also thrilled to announce that the selections have been made for the first #NoMoreShame Project volume! All writers have been contacted by Bobbi Parish. Take a look at our promo — it’s amazing! Find more resources here on the #NoMoreShame Project YouTube page and on my Advocacy page here.
*What is a trigger exactly? According to PyschCentral:
A trigger is something that sets off a memory tape or flashback transporting the person back to the event of her/his original trauma.
Triggers are very personal; different things trigger different people. The survivor may begin to avoid situations and stimuli that she/he thinks triggered the flashback. She/he will react to this flashback, trigger with an emotional intensity similar to that at the time of the trauma. A person’s triggers are activated through one or more of the five senses: sight, sound, touch, smell and taste.
Spot on. Had the same discussion (prompted by something I read yesterday and shared WITH a trigger warning) earlier. You are absolutely correct and as my housemate about not putting a warning “oh yes, just go ahead and undo years of psychological healing why don’t you”. Thanks for writing.
Hi Helen! Thanks for reading and commenting. I do credit the article author for creating discourse on a difficult topic — and because everyone’s abuse is different, everyone’s triggers are different. Still, I believe that some kind of warning (just as movies have had for DECADES) are helpful for decision-making. That’s really all I’m saying. Content is content, whether it’s books, movies, or internet — and people are people, whether they are survivors or not.
To assume that someone will or won’t be triggered is, to me, not worth the risk.
I think triggers are very important, especially for the reason you have given: choice. I write very graphic scenes and while I and most of the people I know are not affected by them, I am aware that there are those who have been through traumatic events and that what I write could be detrimental to them. Because I refuse to censore myself, I do include some kind of warning (if not in the title or description, a simple hashtag warns potential readers) for various topics, ranging from sex scenes to rape cause, really, some people, even those who haven’t been victimized, simply don’t want to read that sort of thing. When I write the latter scenes, I want the reader to feel disgusted but don’t want anyone to relive horrific moments in their past. It’s a simple courtesy and takes nothing away from the story.
Yes, that’s it exactly. Some people can watch or read books or movies and not be bothered in the least while others can not move from their bed for days or weeks after seeing or reading something. I’m glad you give people warnings and then it’s up to them to decide. Choice is a wonderful thing, my friend. xx
I think I’m somewhere in the middle on this one.
First off, let me just say that trigger warnings are not ‘useless’ and are necessary in some cases. Someone who believes that reading content cannot trigger something, anything, in someone is either ignorant, has never had any kind of bad experience ever, or both. I’ve read lyrics of a song that have changed my mood from happy to sad based on experiences that are considered mild compared to the subject matter or matters we are discussing here.
That being said, as writers and sharers of sensitive content, I don’t think that we should get carried away with the trigger warnings ie DON’T READ ON UNLESS YOU WANT TO HIDE IN YOUR BED FOR A WEEK WHILE CRYING THE TEARS OF A HUNDRED BABIES or something of that nature – I realize that is an extreme example, but you get the picture. I think when we get into the business of warning our readers in an exaggerated sense, we are discouraging them from reading anything that is not puppies and rainbows, even the ones who have not experienced the type of pain and ‘surviving’ that we are discussing. This is all about awareness to me, about showing the world that yes, this is a problem, and yes, we need to talk openly about it so that we may begin to travel the road towards recovery and resolution.
So, yes, I do agree with you that the very idea that trigger warnings are poppycock is a poppycock, not to mention insensitive, thing to say, but I think we should also use discretion so that we’re not intentionally encouraging society to embrace their ignorance in an effort to live a carefree life instead of educating themselves about what is going on around them, and working together to fix it.
Thank you for reading and for your thoughtful response, Allie. I agree that we can’t put our heads in the sand — totally! It’s why I speak out on sexual abuse, and why you speak out on mental illness (which rocks, btw).
I don’t see trigger warnings as a way to ignore things — more as a way to give us pause, or a choice. Like any content warning really (movies or books), it’s a way to let people know what’s what. xx
Certain noises, smells, songs, manurisumes with people. All these things bring memories of abuse situations flooding back. Sometimes I don’t even recognize what the trigger is until after I’m through it and have relaxed my posture.
Touch is the worst for me. If someone comes up behind me and puts there hand on my shoulder! They need to duck because there going to get hit. Especially if it’s a male.
Tony, thank you for sharing. Triggers are so individualized, and can hit us when we least expect them. Like you, something can hit me right away, or it can take some time for me to process. Scenes in a movie, a hotel room, a certain word, a description — all have caused me to be triggered. Thankfully, only once have I responded in a way that was, for me, physically scary — I know many survivors who have entered deep depressions after a triggering event.
One article I read said that trigger warnings are silly because someone might be ‘offended’ — that person clearly has NO idea what it’s like to have survived trauma and relive it. That statement offended me! xx
This is a great piece – and really thought provoking for me. I’m a survivor and have many triggers – but they are smells and sounds. I still have a huge problem with loud noises – and I think the 2% stat that the author you referred to is extremely low. I might be wrong – but if PTSD is that rare – I probably wouldn’t have wet my bed and sucked my thumb until I went to college. (Just saying.)
The interesting thing is- reading subject matter that might trigger someone else immediately – doesn’t trigger me. I don’t want to read certain things (like the video of that young girl’s death) but more from the perspective that I don’t want to read or watch that stuff because it hurts my heart to do so. It doesn’t take me back to my own trauma. There have been a few movies that have triggered me – such as The Lovely Bones- and a few others that depict foster care kids and kids who are abused in care- and/or sexually abused/raped – with no help or support. But I knew what the movies were about before I watched them. Sometimes I think I watch dark movies to test myself and exercise my emotions. I think movies are easier to digest than reading, however, because reading is in your own head-and you supply the pictures and the scenes. It’s more deeply imbedded into your mind and your heart than being spoon fed by a movie.
So I guess when it comes to articles and books- trigger warnings are quite useful in the title or the very beginning in order to give the reader a chance to make an informed decision – as you said.
I don’t feel the warnings are useless or poppycock. It’s good to offer them- but I would probably ignore them and see how far I can push myself and my emotions by continuing to read beyond the warning. But I’m kind of weird like that.
thank you Liz — love hearing your comments and as always, admire your honesty. It’s interesting — I read The Lovely Bones and was fine reading it but my childhood experience was different from yours. A comedy movie triggered me recently — ‘We’re The Millers’ — not sure if you saw it (I won’t go into detail here).
I agree with you on the video description — it hurts my heart. Anything to do with hurting children (and especially young girls), makes me hurt. We choose our battles, and your dedication to GirlsWithSole is amazing! So honored to know you, my friend. xx
Maybe I’m a bit sensitive and a bit PC but the fastest way to get on my bad side? Refer to me as a ‘victim’ yet again. Because I’ve not had that happen enough, right?
I think comparing a *trigger warning* to a yellow light is fair. Some people are at different places in their healing compared to others. As one survivor to another, why would I potentially want to undo any of their progress or see any harm come to them? And even if I’m sharing my experiences with people who aren’t survivors, isn’t it fair to simply give those who may be more empathetic or more sensitive a heads up?
I’m a sensitive individual. Overly sensitive even. Do I expect everyone to mollycoddle me or wrap me in cotton wool? Of course not. But I don’t seek things that I can’t handle. And I’m not going to write or share the tough stuff without a little common courtesy for my fellow human beings.
I’m with you, girl. A friend of mine is in law enforcement, and he says that legal terms (like victim, re-victimization, etc.) are largely misused and misunderstood by the general public. Most people tends to throw these terms around (‘oh, she’s such a victim’) without any kind of thought whatsoever. It’s not until they themselves (or someone close to them) is the (legal term) victim of a crime that they begin to understand the difference.
Regardless, we are survivors and as you say, maybe that makes us more sensitive. I know that I’ve always been referred to as sensitive, even prior to the abuse. Knowing what is right for you and what is way, way wrong is the essence of why trigger warnings are, as you say, common courtesy, and not mollycoddling (great word, BTW). love you.
Thank you for the great piece. I’ve always thought that triggers were important, and now that my niece is an abuse survivor, I’ll be looking for warnings more than ever. It makes me hurt to know that she’s so young — almost four — and yet she’ll have triggers the rest of her life. Her mother is on the lookout for signs 24/7. We never know what will set her off.
Hi Courtney and thank you for reading and your kind comments. So sorry about your niece — gosh, so young! Breaks my heart. Hopefully, with love, support, and therapy, she can work through much of it and will be able to recognize and deal with those triggers.
For many of us, myself included, our abuse wasn’t dealt with at all — simply not discussed (in my family’s case, mostly out of ignorance in knowing how to deal with it, which my parents readily admit). Minimization and denial are easier…until depression and anxiety take over (in my case, anyway). I’m not triggered by much, to be honest, but certain words or even a movie scene can and has set me off. The argument that I haven’t deal with it at this point is mute — I’ve had YEARS of therapy, dealing with these situations, and I work with survivors and hear their stories daily.
Again, helping your niece and providing her with therapeutic resources is crucial (as I’m sure you know). If you need further info, let me know. xx
I don’t exactly know what was going through my sister’s mind at first, but I do know that none of us really know how to handle abuse cases. At first, she decided that her daughter didn’t really need therapy, but now she plans on putting her through play therapy very soon.
I don’t exactly know what sets my niece off, but I do know that her behavior has gotten worse since this happened. It breaks my heart to see her go from very well-behaved to not behaving at all, and all because of a man that she was supposed to be able to trust!
Thank you for being so vocal about abuse, Rachel. It truly is a comforting thought to know that there are people like you out there in the world.
Thanks again for sharing, Courtney. Happy to help! Being a voice is hugely important to me, and especially for children, who don’t know how to vocalize their fears and shame. I encourage you and your sister to get her into therapy, particularly with a therapist who specializes in childhood abuse and trauma. If you need resources, please let me know. I can help. xx
I needed a day or so to process all of this and to make some sense of all the many different thoughts in my mind. I wanted to make sure I made sense because this is important. All of this is important. All of us in this strange and twisted pedigree of sorts are important and so what we do to progress should be to build rather than destroy. So stay with me, I promise this is all related.
Probably around 15 years ago I was chosen to be one of 100 educators to attend a one week educator training course held at the US National Holocaust Memorial Museum. For that entire week we were taught by Holocaust survivors, resistance fighters, museum curators, and the leading educators in that subject from 8 in the morning until 6 in the evening. I have notebooks and notebooks of notes, but there is one woman’s experience that I have always remembered verbatim all these years, and it’s this woman I remembered when I read the bullshit this person perpetuated regarding triggers and PTSD.
This beautiful old woman was one of only two people who survived the Holocaust from her entire village. Only two people out of hundreds lived, and here was one of them in front of me. And still, after all these many years this sweet woman had not once taken another shower since liberation. She has never had a home with a shower head in it.
This was a lengthy comment, I know. Sorry Rachel. But here’s the problem I have with whomever it was who wrote this stuff, and it all comes down to this:
She can deny a loaded gun on a table is harmless all she wants, but it still has a trigger. And triggers are meant to be pulled. So basically lady, don’t be a dick.
Stunning, C. This hits home for me, for many reasons. What an honor to hear her story! And no need to be sorry for the length of your comment — it’s beautiful and your sincerity shines through and we’re all richer for reading it (even the dick part).
It’s interesting — the author insists she wasn’t trying to be disrespectful of ‘victims’ (ahem), simply of trigger warnings. Perhaps a different approach would have created a different type of discourse. xx
I do not like that she calls herself a victim.
I do not like how she labels all survivors as victims either.
Trigger warnings allow me to assess my daily level of readiness. Without them, I’m thrown off guard and feel out of control. With them, I’m able to make choices for myself that allow me to feel safe. The end.
Survivors are strong, victims are weak. It’s sad that that’s how victims are seen, isn’t it? Because in a legal sense, we are victims. But in a life sense, we survived.
And yes, we deserve a content or trigger warning. I’m not sure why it’s okay for movies or books, but not for articles. Why it’s seen as mollycoddling. That’s ridiculous. We deserve better. xoxo
My dad is a survivor but struggles with PTSD, post Vietnam. He knows there are trigger words, movies, and books he avoids, not because he avoids life itself, but because he knows the pain and often the damaging reaction it produces. He will sometimes ask me to screen content for him, which I do, because authors often forget, or do not consider, what they might trigger in someone who is a survivor. I happily do so.
There’s no reason not to post a content or trigger warning. Sharing some content is just frivolous, and a cry for attention. Good take on this, and great job not sharing the offending content.
Thank you for sharing, Troy and for your kind words. I can’t even imagine what your dad has seen/experienced, and I’m glad he’s conscious of it and knows to ask for your help.
I’m still scratching my head at the article — her argument that each person’s triggers are so individualized, it’s not possible that a trigger warning is sufficient. I do agree with her assertion however, even a general content warning provides a choice or at least the option to decide…and that’s the difference for many survivors.
Best of luck to you and your dad, Troy. Thanks again for visiting and commenting.
“At the core, trigger warnings are a yellow light — proceed with caution”
Bullseye! I say with confidence that I *always* appreciate these warnings, so I’m able to mentally prepare myself for what I’m about to read next.
I am also fortunate that my own little family is somewhere that I can talk about these things after the fact. My wife learns best by audio/visual cues, and so she likes to read things out loud. This means that she often reads aloud many of the same blog posts I’m reading, and we take time to discuss. As parents, we feel it’s very important to do the same for our children, especially our 12-year old daughter. We’ve discussed our painful pasts with her to a certain extent– we want very *much* for her to be better prepared than we were.
Interesting article. First off, I think that legitimate warnings are a good thing. My problem with trigger warnings is their overuse. It seems I can’t go a day without someone using the phrase in a trivial manner to the point that trigger warnings are now becoming something of a joke. Is it an important tool for survivors of abuse? Without a doubt. The problem arises when you see trigger warnings used for anything that is vaguely unpleasant, at that point the legitimacy of the tool is diminished .
I agree to an extent, Stephen and perhaps that is what the article author should have clarified. Trigger warnings are not ‘oh, this might offend you’ (as has been mentioned in many articles and is wrong, wrong, wrong). Content warnings are quite different: that’s what we see on TV shows or movies, i.e., bad language, violence, sexual situations, etc., that could offend someone or be inappropriate for children. Fine. Thanks for the heads up.
Trigger warnings are inherently different in that the content can potentially trigger (which I detail in my article). Those same situations as mentioned above could certainly create triggers in susceptible individuals, but a content warning should suffice. Nobody seems to object to a content warning, right? So I personally don’t see the issue with a trigger warning. Now, if you add a trigger warning to a post about bubble gum, that would be silly (maybe not to the person who is triggered by bubble gum). There has to be some common sense here. Thank you for adding your thoughts!
I have to say I’m in the middle also. I think it’s important to insure a reader isn’t blindsided by graphic or highly emotional content.
There is definitely content that can trigger a highly negative emotional response. But I think triggers are extremely personal. Someone might not be upset reading a passage about a violent abuse, but if that attack includes confining someone in a small space, that specific imagery might be a trigger. If you have issues, the best thing you can do is explore exactly what those triggers might be.
Authors and content providers should help by making sure a reader is aware of what topics will be discussed. I think Genre and a good blurb can help, without shouting *Trigger Warning*.
Thank you, Gina. I appreciate your thoughts and definitely agree that some kind of summary or blurb are extremely useful — call it what you will. Trigger warnings seem to be easily recognizable in Internet usage, so I imagine, if one studied the history of the term (which I believe I read dates back to 1986 but don’t quote me), has become ubiquitous at this point.
Add in rape culture and college rape revelations, and you have quite the trigger warning soup, if you will.
So, according to the extremely informed & empathetic author of the original article on Triggers, PTSD only affects 2% of the world’s population, so it’s nothing to get your panties in a bunch about? Wow, that’s good to know, because I was certainly misinformed about PTSD & triggers. My panties were seriously bunched up, I can tell you.
Good to know that the premise of the new series “The Leftovers” — which is that 2% of the world’s population simply vanishes one day, and that that’s considered such a horrifyingly dreadful number of disappearing people that ALL the remaining people are permanently traumatized and emotionally scarred — is simply fiction. If it’s only 2%, there’s no need to cause such a fuss, is there?
I’m also delighted to learn that the first episode of “The Leftovers,” which takes place after the 2%, as they are referred to, has already disappeared, and which was so bleak, angry, violent, and emotionally draining that I thought it “triggered” me, didn’t trigger me after all since there aren’t any triggers. Now I can continue to watch a show where people randomly shoot pets, abandon children, and commit acts of gang violence on their neighbors and associates.
Thank god the author of said original article dismisses psychiatrists’ & psychologists’ classification of PTSD into 3 categories, each with its own triggers, treatment, and patterns of emotional scarring. After all, 2% sounds so rare and insignificant, why should anyone else care if so few people have triggers? Especially if those triggers don’t even exist in the first place.
Gratitude to that author for lumping all trauma survivors into one group — of 2% — experiencing the least severe form of PTSD, which occurs after witnessing or experiencing a devastating event, such as being assaulted, raped by a stranger, being injured in a bad car accident or natural disaster such as a tornado. PTSD’s effects & triggers differ among individuals depending on the severity of the original trauma. But it must not be too serious, I guess, since the big bad event only happens once. Good to know.
So, War-PTSD must not exist at all, huh? War-PTSD, formerly called “shell-shock,” is said to have increased in severity and individual incidents with each war as the weapons have become more destructive while medical advances have allowed more soldiers & civilians to survive. For some Vietnam War survivors, their War-PTSD is supposedly so overwhelming that the mere sound of a helicopter’s blades will trigger panic attacks and even seizures. But it’s not like anyone’s forcing them to ride in helicopters or listen to backfiring cars, which can sound like mortars exploding, so those survivors shouldn’t have any triggers to worry about. More good news for those vets.
So, if anyone who thinks s/he has PTSD but the article-author has proven that “triggers” are nothing, then the most devastating and difficult-to-treat PTSD is probably nothing more than an urban legend. Complex-PTSD is supposedly experienced by survivors of fascist regimes, concentration camps, killing fields, and severely repeatedly abusive families where the “first condition of extremity is that there is no escape” (Terrence Des Pres, THE SURVIVORS). Those survivors will be so happy to learn that they have no triggers to worry about, like graphic violence in movies, because they’re only movies, and that’s entertainment.
And what a clown author-psychologist Gavin de Becker must be, eh? He terms triggers “The Gift of Fear” in his book of the same name, and De Becker’s premise is that triggers or the “Gift of Fear” is the survivor’s instinct — not his intellect, logic, or reasoning — telling him he is in danger because his instinct is hypervigilant, having been through some of the most horrifying, painful, and traumatizing experiences already, and that his instinct is simply alerting him to the triggers in an effort to protect him from being harmed again. Joke’s on all the readers who made THE GIFT OF FEAR a bestseller.
Gosh, I am so glad that only 2% of the world’s population suffers from any sort of PTSD and that triggers are all bogus anyway because that means there’s really no violence in families, in classrooms, in neighborhoods, in society, in the world; nor in books, television, video games, or films.
That must mean that I do not have Complex-PTSD after all, despite all the dreadful abuse — sexual, physical, emotional, psychological, and MBP — that my family inflicted on me when I was a child. It sounds like more people win the Publisher’s Clearinghouse Sweepstakes than have PTSD. And I have never won any lottery or Sweepstakes.
Whew, so glad I can now just ignore all those non-existent triggers that try to fool me into thinking I’m not safe. Think I’ll go play in traffic for a while. After that, I’ll stick a fork into an electrical outlet.
I can feel you, Alexandria and thank you for such a thoughtful answer with so many wonderful examples. Gavin DeBecker is one of my heroes. His book was life-changing for me. I’m honored, truly, by your passion and caring not only for yourself, but for so many of us out here.
Do you know, it took me until I was in my late 40s to realize that the loud noises that make me jump, and the horror movies that I refuse to watch, and the motorcycle roars that bring tears to my eyes or make my heart race, and many other ‘things’ are triggers for me? I just thought well, that’s me. Deal with it. For many, many years.
Writing, therapy, group support, meds — all have been helpful in recognizing and dealing with the aftereffects of sexual abuse and PTSD. To act like I don’t have it, to pretend like it doesn’t exist? Ridiculous. It explains SO much.
My dearest Rachel,
I had to go into therapy to learn that I wasn’t a “big baby” for weeping and having a panic attack over the rape scene in CASUALTIES OF WAR (I’ve never watched the whole scene, or even listened to it) or the rape scene in THE ACCUSED. Just cannot do it. My therapist was the one who told me I didn’t have to.
Someone whom I thought a friend and trusted enough to tell something that had happened to me gave me a video as a gift. I’d never heard of it, but admired and liked the stars. It was about a woman imprisoned , raped, and graphically tortured. I was so traumatized, I can’t even remember the name of the film, and wouldn’t reveal it if I did; I stopped the tape & destroyed it immediately, severed the relationship with the supposed “friend,” who claimed she’d thought it would “help me get over it.”
In my first novel, about the Holocaust, I had to deal with some very violent and potentially triggering events, and not just triggering for Holocaust survivors. They were the hardest scenes to write, and I still grieve if I re-read them. I was very careful not to be graphic, to keep the violence clearly connected to the political, moral, ethical, and power themes in the novel.
The first editor, from one of the Big-5 traditional publishing Houses, wrote back cover copy calling it a “love story.” I admit I went berserkers, but through my agent. The editor got the message loud and clear. I insisted that she include the fact that the woman was forced into sexual subjugation: there was no way I was going to let anyone read that novel thinking it was a romance or even a consensual sexual relationship. Though there are only 5 scenes in entire novel dealing with that particular aspect of the relationship (and the Kommandant’s relates them as erotic love scenes, literally, because that’s how he saw them and his own role), they “defined” the novel for most readers.
Despite how carefully & respectfully I wrote them, and despite my insistence that the true nature of the relationship in the book be clear in the description, and despite never ever being graphic (always alluding to things and using metaphors when possible), a few people told me they could not finish the book when they reached the first honest scene about what was happening between the two of them (100+ pages into the novel). It still triggered something for them. When they told me they couldn’t finish the book, I grieved for them.
I would never, ever write something in such a way so as to intentionally trigger someone’s horrific memories or pain, and have always made sure that my books’ descriptions clearly indicate that I am dealing with tough moral & emotional subjects, in the most honest but respectful way that I am able. My goal in writing virtually all my books has been to help others heal as well as to heal myself.
Yes, I have been called overprotective of women, children, men, and animals who have been abused; and very intolerant toward abusers. I won’t apologize for that. And when people who have never experienced severe abuse dismiss it so lightly, or mock “triggers,” they raise my ire.
I, too, love Gavin de Becker, and his THE GIFT OF FEAR also helped me heal.
As does your friendship and love.
Big hugs,
What a thought provoking piece, Rachel. I think trigger warnings are essential when dealing with sensitive topics. They give the reader the right to choose, but so often I see *trigger warning* following a book’s description with no specifics. I think most assume the blurb itself explains what the triggers are, but that’s not always the case. I’ve been surprised quite a few times.
Thank you, Nikki. Another commenter said that a blurb should suffice, but I think that, given the way the Internet works and how FAST it is, a simple two words TRIGGER WARNING is a quick heads up or, as I say in the post, a yellow light — I’ll slow down and read more carefully. It’s like going from scan to reading every word.
Or maybe it works backwards for others — maybe, if there’s a TW, they’ll scan instead of reading more carefully. Ultimately, it gives us a choice. xx
Post traumatic stress comes from all sorts of things. Often – speaking from personal experience – unknown to the host of this unwanted condition until the hideous appearance of those nasty triggers. And the subsequent shocking behavior they elicit. Knowing oneself is the key to identifying PTSD and figuring out how to deal with it. Before relationships are hurt, along with other consequences.
How interesting ! i cant say i agree with her, using my self and others that i have facilitated and meeting thru the years i would say the vast majority of survivors would have some form of PTSD. And speaking for my self it took me awhile figure it out, on how it effected me like being in a relationship,loud noises, alcohol ,smoking could set me off .But lucky for me i had (have) the support to get thru it, but finally recognizing and focusing on what triggers me after all these years gone by is a Big Big..change in my daily life and good to no, you don’t have to be stuck in the past gone by and focus on the now pausing along the way.
Thank you for sharing Rachel looking forward to more of your reviews and comments
Stew
Thank you so much for this post. I read the original last week and was really disappointed in the author. I use trigger warnings on my own blog because I need to write about really tough things. Somtimes, graphically, if that is what I need to process an event or emotion. Knowing that I am giving a potential reader a heads up helps me to be as raw as I need to be. Knowing that people will be careful with themselves when reading about sensitive topics is meaninful. Knowing that a writer cares enough about my well being to use trigger warnings helps me to feel more connected to a writer. They’re not difficult to employ. They’re not cumbersome. They *are* simple and helpful. And I really don’t see why we need to argue so much just to get some consideration. That is all we need, really. Consideration.
thank you for sharing, Celeste. I agree wholeheartedly, obviously, because it’s such a simple and respectful way to empower survivors. It’s not about offending someone (as I’ve read). It’s about being polite and respectful, considerate as you say. How hard is that?
I love your point about yellow light vs. red light. I find I can read a lot of material that would otherwise set me off so long as there’s a trigger warning ahead of time.
Last time I was triggered, a fictional fairy tale ended with a depiction of (um, *trigger warning*) a woman being drugged and gang raped. I contacted the author to suggest a warning, but they said there was no point since anything can be a trigger.
I don’t know about that. I agree that mentioning, say, the scent of cigarette smoke may be a trigger, but that it’s also so mundane it’s hard to warn against. Definite acts of violence, on the other hand… Those seem pretty obvious.
You don’t always have to say “trigger warning” of course. Murder mysteries typically include someone dying horribly. Horror stories tend to include gore. But if it’s not clear from the context, I think that yellow light should be included.
Thank you for responding, Katherine. There’s a line, I suppose. We all have different experiences of trauma and therefore, different triggers. However, there seems to be a generally accepted ‘definition’ of what is explicit content as you say — gore, horror, rape, etc. Movies and TV shows have ratings for content, why shouldn’t other content? I don’t see why the minimization. It’s just…disrespectful.
Thank you for weighing in.
I think that, just as we see “warnings” when adult content is included in a blog/website/story, we should have a warning (or “yellow light,” great analogy) when content may trigger memories of trauma. Obviously, there’s very little way to account for every possible trigger, but giving readers the option to go no further, or at least the ability to prepare themselves for what lies ahead, is – in my opinion – the right thing to do.
None of us can know the journey of every reader, or every person we encounter on a daily basis. We should move forward with kindness towards each other, because any other option could further harm someone. I know that people often think “trigger warnings” are too politically correct, but there is a world of difference between doing harm with content and employing tact and diplomacy in language. Again, simply my opinion, but I see no reason we can’t take the extra two minutes to advise people that content may trigger echoes of past abuse.
thank you Caroline for weighing in. I find it interesting that there seems to be even further minimization lately, people comparing sexual assault survivors to ‘real’ survivors, like war veterans, or girls in third-world countries who have survived horrific atrocities.
Sexual assault isn’t a competition — neither is trauma. Triggers are a result of trauma, and that’s my point. A simple heads-up is compassionate and respectful. Who are we to decide the degree of someone else’s trauma? It’s insulting and sad.
Outstanding article! I had an uncomfortable feeling when I read the “poppycock” article, but it had been forwarded to me by multiple people I respected. Thank you for putting into words what I could not – now I’ll forward YOUR article!
Thank you, Ben! I’m all for free speech and I’m honestly glad that article showed up because it’s worth having the discourse on both sides. Someone recently told me that women in the West are a ‘coddled bunch’ and until we are shot in the head or gang-raped, we have nothing to complain about. I certainly don’t agree (and find that line of thinking incredibly offensive), but it just shows that people still truly believe that only extreme traumas ‘count’ — though what constitutes extreme in one person’s eyes vs another’s is still at issue, of course.
Regardless, it doesn’t matter and that’s my point. Trigger warnings aren’t for coddled people. They are for anyone who has survived trauma.
In my case, I was threatened with a gun and violence and death threats for over a year (at the age of 11) if I told anyone. Does that count? Of course it does. But even if I wasn’t, the abuse itself and the aftermath are enough to create trauma that I didn’t even realize was happening. That I wouldn’t understand until later. Blanket insensitivities infuriate me because non-survivors cannot possibly relate.
I appreciate your support and thank you again for reading and commenting!
Great article, god i can’t believe some of the things that person said. I’m a survivor and i know lots of survivor’s who would love this article but hate the original article this refers too. While most of my abuse was more mental then physical it has still had a lasting effect on my life. I’ve had bouts of depression and panic attacks with unknown triggers, last few years my anxiety has come back worse so that i’m now on daily anxiety medication to keep the number of attacks down and even though i know my triggers now sometimes they still can’t be avoided so before taking my another medication to help calm me down i have lots of coping tactics to help me or hold the attack off until i can get to a safe place
As an author who writes erotica at times, I am, by default, expected to put trigger warnings for various reasons, and not just for people who have experienced trauma. Let’s face it, there are readers who do not want to unwittingly pick up a book and read about graphic sex, even if the scenes are consensual.
For those who are sexaholics, they do not in any way need to be reading erotica, in my humble opinion. Here’s the thing, though I’ve been fortunate enough so far in my life, I still do not wish to see graphic scenes of torture, rape, or violence. I don’t’ want to see crucifixions, I will not see movies like “Unbroken” or “The Passion Of Christ.” I appreciate it when social media posters give warnings on videos they share.
There are others in the general population who do not have PTSD symptoms, but who choose not to subject themselves to the potential for it via artificial means. Reading or viewing things on video or TV hits your brain with the same traumatic insult; it doesn’t know the difference between fiction and reality. All it “knows” is your reaction to something. I am in favor of trigger warnings. Just my two cents, anyway.
totally agree with you, Scarlet. One doesn’t have to be a survivor to be disturbed by graphic content. It’s no different than how movies provide those warnings, or books. Why shouldn’t articles? I don’t see what the big deal is. Media is media — we still look at it with our eyes, regardless of whether it’s visual or words.
I’m a strong and vocal proponent of trigger warnings and will continue to be one. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
I have mixed feelings on the topic because of some personal baggage. I can read descriptions of things that *ought* to trigger me, and that I *do* suffer symptoms of PTSD from having experienced — as well as lots of other disturbing content that I have thankfully not had the misfortune to experience in real life — without being triggered. I may be disturbed, of course. But, very few people typically think to put warnings for the thing I actually do trigger for. You’d think that graphic descriptions of self-harm would merit a trigger warning. Apparently not? Because I have been nastily surprised and triggered by this subject various times before. Also, a lot of people will say “trigger warning” without specifying what they warning about, which is dumb. Clearly I am reading content by the wrong people. :/
I loathe the phrase “trigger warning.” I think that it started out as a good thing and was carried too far, like online support groups that support being sick and demonize anyone who is getting better. I’m over the whole “society is out to get you” thing. I’ve been beaten and otherwise abused by my father. I’ve been held prisoner by my former partner and raped repeatedly. I’ve been beaten by a sibling. I’ve had a miscarriage and the sperm donor said I must have been cheating on him because…why? I never got an explanation for that. I was sexually assaulted by a doctor. No one ever believed me.
I’m in my 40s. I never heard of this trigger warning nonsense until a couple of years ago when several of the members AND the mods of a sexual abuse support group labeled ME an abuser because I didn’t agree with them that a movie based on a novel should have signs in theaters reading TRIGGER WARNING RAPE AND SEXUAL ASSAULT because anyone with a fully functioning frontal lobe would know, based on the movie, trailer, and reviews would know IT WAS ABOUT SOLVING A SERIES OF SEX CRIMES AND THERE WERE GRAPHIC SCENES.
I write books and some of them have graphic scenes and I would rather delete, burn, smash hard drives, anything but have this asinine trivial TRIGGER WARNING assigned to my work. Trigger warning? Grow up. I live with triggers every day of my life and I don’t get any consideration and it never occurred to me to ask for any because MY WHOLE LIFE IS A TRIGGER WARNING. I do not expect others to warn me in advance of anything they might mention that might send me into an OCD major depressive disorder general anxiety disorder nightmare because I’m not the center of the universe.
I will never kowtow to the trigger warning society. I hope more people have the guts to say NO as well. No one ever cushioned me in bubble wrap. I had to learn to live in the real world. I hope you have to learn to live in the real world too because trigger warnings infringe on the lives of your family and friends and censor creative work. I hope that the whole trigger warning game ultimately ends up in the garbage where it belongs.
I’m a survivor and trigger warnings do not do one damned thing to empower me so leave me out of your clique.
I sense quite a bit of anger in your response, Abelia, so I thank you for expressing your feelings here and wish you well on your recovery journey.