Regardless of where you stand on the Cosby mistrial, you have no doubt heard about it. It’s unavoidable right now. And that’s okay. This is a necessary conversation whether you are a survivor or not.
Criminal Trial vs. Civil Trial
The Bill Cosby trial was a criminal trial. Many of his supporters don’t believe these women because “they waited so long to report.” That they’re only doing so now “for the money and attention” — untrue, since in this particular case, many of these women came forward decades ago. It’s only taken until 2017 for the case to come to trial due to various legal loopholes. Dozens of women came forward regarding Cosby, but the statute of limitations had expired.
Worth noting: he admitted to “drugging women for sex” in a previous civil trial.
The ignorance astounds and insults millions of sexual assault survivors, like me. A criminal trial does not seek to award money to the victims (I use the word victim only in the legal sense). It seeks to assign penalties. In this one case regarding Constand, “Cosby remains charged with three second-degree felony counts of aggravated indecent assault, and each count carries a minimum sentence of five years in prison. All told, if found guilty, Cosby could spend the rest of his life in prison.” (Source: NPR).
This is the case that went to trial (and is still viable for retrial) because the statute of limitations hasn’t run out. Many other assault survivors are pursuing civil trials because that’s their only option to seek justice.
Why Survivors Don’t Report
Survivors don’t report for a myriad of reasons. Go on over to Twitter and look up the hashtag #WhySurvivorsDontReport to see the heartbreakingly honest reasons. Survivors are female, male, young, old, gay, transgendered, all colors and all backgrounds. Sexual assault doesn’t discriminate, but society certainly does.
For people attempting to fit survivors into a political, religious, or racist narrative, I say back the hell off. We are not here to fit into your cozy little story.
Let’s be clear: survivors are not female only.
RAINN stats show 1 in 4 girls, and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused before the age of 18; 93% are known to the victim. In 88% of the sexual abuse claims that CPS substantiates or finds supporting evidence of, the perpetrator is male. (Source: RAINN.)
One reason many have for supporting Cosby (and other alleged rapists like Trump, Woody Allen, and others) is the amount of time many of their accusers wait. If they waited to report, it must be they’re lying. I’m not sure how one equals the other, but whatever. Armchair psychiatry at its worst.
Everyone is an expert on what sexual assault survivors should do.
This is pure ignorance. I urge people learn and understand how the brain is affected by trauma. What it means when the pre-frontal cortex is impaired during states of high stress. “What PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) is and how it affects sexual assault survivors. How fear, shame, and guilt affect our very souls.
According to Justice Department reports:
Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Bureau of Justice Statistics, Female Victims of Sexual Violence, 1994-2010 (2013).
“One of the hallmarks of drug-related sexual assaults is the effect the drug has on the victim’s memory and ability to recall and were nonetheless willing to present this evidence to the jury.” (Source: NPR) When people say survivors ‘only want attention,’ I vehemently challenge this notion. Who wants this kind of attention? Does this sound fun to you? Yea, a real party.
Survivors: Facing Our Abusers In Court
I have stared down my abuser in court, at the tender age of twelve. The abuse happened repeatedly during my eleventh year of life. The DA feared the case wasn’t strong enough because the two four-year-olds, where there was DNA evidence in the vaginal and anal regions, were too young to verbalize what happened. But I wasn’t.
He got two years.
So, for those who say all survivors are lying, or we just want attention, I’m here to tell you: I’ve been there. I never ever wanted any of the attention. Not from my abuser, not from the police, and certainly not in court. I didn’t want the accusations and dirty looks from his children, the gossip at school and in the neighborhood, or the scarlet letter that came from being ‘the one who was abused by that child molester’ my entire school career.
I did report, but only after I initially said no during police questioning. It was all too humiliating and shameful. I did tell (because children are horrible liars and they knew something was up — another reason the excuse ‘children lie about being sexually abused’ doesn’t hold water), but that doesn’t mean I judge others who don’t. And neither should you or anyone else.
This is why survivors don’t report.
James says
June 18, 2017 at 11:07 pmThere is a major logic fallacy at work here. Every accusation or report of rape, is NOT actually rape. This looks to be working on the presumption that every man accused is guilty of rape and that women never ever lie.
Rachel Thompson says
June 19, 2017 at 12:02 amHi, James and thanks for reading and responding. Survivors are male, female, gay, transgender, young, old…the point here isn’t that all survivors are female and all perpetrators are male. The specifics of the Cosby case are indeed that, but I refer to that case as to what sparked the hashtag conversation on Twitter.
The conversation is why survivors don’t report. There’s no argument here, so I’m not sure why you’re arguing logical fallacy, but if you feel the need to do so, please continue. There’s no presumption of anything. The focus isn’t on the abuser, for me — it’s always on the survivor.
My goal is for survivors to have a way to be heard, to find resources, and to find the support and compassion they need. Be well.
judith says
June 19, 2017 at 12:57 amWhether or not women ever lie is not up to you to decide, with all due respect. This blog is about reasons why the 1 in 3 women (and 1 in 6? men) who statistically experience sexual harm/abuse/violence find it so difficult to speak up. In the UK our Children’s Commissioner produced a report in November 2015 which stated only 1 in 8 sexually abused children are known to services/authorities. I’m sure as a human being, sharing the planet with so many who have experienced sexual abuse, you could find some compassion if you dig deep. Reading blogs is a great way to enhance your learning about topics where you may have gaps in knowledge. Rachel writes brilliantly on this area.
Lydia says
June 19, 2017 at 6:35 amThank you for this post, Rachel. I wish more people understood the myriad of reasons why some survivors don’t report.
Teresa Yvette Oelofse says
March 14, 2018 at 4:13 amso … my mentally handicapped child took all the courage she had … for 23 months now, we have been waiting for her day in court … this was supposed to happen on the 19th of March … monday we got word that the state is withdrawing the charges against the rapist because:
I have been considering the merits of this matter in terms of the prospects of success in the event that a trial would proceed. In the process I have considered the following;
1. The evidence in the docket;
2. The consultation of the prosecutor with the victim in this case;
3. The consultation of the Court Preparation Officer with the victim in this case;
4. The professional views of the Court Prosecutor and the Sexual Offences Case Manager and
5. The applicable law.
I have unfortunately come to a considered view that there are no prospects for a successful prosecution in this matter. The intended course of proceeding on the 19th March 2018 is that the matter will be withdrawn.
this is a terrible injustice … the evidence is strong, the J88 medical report proof forceful penetration – we are devastated … a rapist is going free because the system has failed her … another reason why so meany victims faill to report … what is the use if the system rapes them all over again.