What You Need To Know About Triggers for Sexual Abuse Survivors by guest @BCBrownBooks

There are a myriad of traumas and reactionary habits survivors of childhood sexual assault and adult sexual assault can experience. Some are catastrophic to living even a modicum of normalcy and others can be mild, almost imperceptible to anyone including the survivor. One thing that is sadly but unmistakably clear is that survivors – all survivors – carry some form of trauma for the rest of their lives. But that isn’t to say that all survivors suffer from their sexual assault for the duration of their lives.

I don’t tell my story often. It isn’t that I’m ashamed or uncomfortable. I know the positive power of a story. Awareness, personal revelation, warning signs, and even a comraderial feeling of support could all be perpetuated by my standing up and saying “I am a survivor of childhood sexual assault.” But I don’t.

At least, I don’t often. I recognized early that, while I was able to work past the traumas of my assaults, I wasn’t the only person impacted by it. There were others who missed what happened. And I absolutely do not blame them for missing something that I took great pains to hide because, at the time, I was ashamed and couldn’t deal with it.

So I tell my story infrequently and sparingly. But today I am going to tell it because something happened to me that I never expected to happen again. Something I thought myself well beyond in healing. I was triggered.

Triggers Defined

The word ‘trigger’ gets used too often of late, but it is a serious reaction that is recognized by every credible mental health organization in the world. Survivors of sexual assault experience the same Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) as other forms of trauma.

‘For people with PTSD, it is very common for their memories to be triggered by sights, sounds, smells or even feelings that they experience. These triggers can bring back memories of the trauma and cause intense emotional and physical reactions, such as raised heart rate, sweating and muscle tension.’ (Mental Health America) ‘Posttraumatic Stress Disorder…is an anxiety disorder that can occur following the experience or witnessing of a traumatic event. A traumatic event is a life-threatening event such as military combat, natural disasters, terrorist incidents, serious accidents, or physical or sexual assault in adult or childhood.’

To avoid possibly triggering anyone else, I will only state that I was sexually assaulted by a trusted person from as early as I can remember until the age of twelve when I told a family member. I was also raped as a teenager. An incident that only my partners, a good friend, and my doctor have known until now. Since the incident in my childhood, however, I have been proactive regarding my mental health. I’ve never not seen a therapist or counselor. I see one now. It is also important to note that seeking legal assistance, such as to hire a brevard county dui attorney, may also be necessary in certain situations, such as those involving serious accidents.

Sexual Abuse and PTSD 

And I was seeing a counselor as of Black Friday (the Friday immediately following Thanksgiving in the United States). That didn’t stop my latent PTSD, a condition from which I thought myself so far removed from being triggered when a man came up behind me after work and grabbed and struck me, and then exposed himself to me.

In the moment, all I knew was anger. Anger that someone could single me out – again. Rage that anyone could make me feel violated – again. So I fought. According to the police photographs taken of the assailant later, I fought hard and left welts and large bruises on him while I had only a few minor bruises and a red mark where he’d torn a lanyard free from my neck. And I felt triumphant…for 48-hours.

The thing about PTSD is its insidiousness. For many people, symptoms begin almost right away after the trauma. For others, the symptoms may not begin or may not become a problem until later, sometimes years later.

I experienced the normal reactions: constantly alert or on guard, avoiding reminders of the trauma, dwelling on the trauma or event, panic attacks, feelings of mistrust. Those hit fast and furious and were controllable. What I didn’t expect were the nightmares, the paranoia. Bad dreams about the recent assault were to be expected, but not of the person who abused me as a child. Certainly mistaking that I saw my assailant in a crowd might be anticipated, but not the teen who raped me in high school. All of this happened, despite decades of therapy and feeling as if, through some miracle, I was no longer affected by what had happened to me as a kid. But I was. I am.

Therapy for PTSD 

People may start to feel better after suffering trauma; their PTSD may cure itself, run its course. Then again, it may not. It’s also equally important to realize that, while a survivor might think they are fine and adjusted, they can be unexpectedly triggered. Counseling and therapy aren’t reliving the events again and again; maybe it’s dealing with daily stress because your particular fallout from PTSD is anxiety or panic attacks, maybe it’s problems with emotional regulation or interpersonal relationships.

For whatever reason or symptom, ongoing mental health is a very real need for survivors of sexual assault. Survivors can live very normal lives, but we’ll never be “cured” because the trauma became a part of us. Mental health professionals can help survivors channel that part into ways of living normally and even, as in Rachel’s and my article’s instance, helping others.

Please seek help if you have experienced sexual assault. And please make sure you continue to seek being proactive with your mental health, even if – like me – you feel as if you’re beyond the trauma. Believe me, the recent assault was nothing compared to the previous ones, but it has had lasting repercussions that are very real and very unexpected.

RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 or online chat

Public Health Sexual Abuse Resources

National Sexual Violence Resource Center

Women Organized Against Rape (WOAR)

Not Alone (Specifically for students)

SurvJustice (Legal help)

Victim Rights Law Center

The Younique Foundation

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BC Brown is the author of three novels and has participated in multiple short story anthologies. Having committed almost every ‘bad deed’ in the book of ‘How to Be An Author’, she now strives to educate others through humor and simple instruction.

She spends her spare time as a homeless advocate with The #humanKINDness Project. 

 

Find her at her website, on Facebook, Twitter (@BCBrownBooks), Instagram, and Pinterest.

Books: A Touch of Darkness ◘ A Touch of Madness ◘ Sister Light (out of print)

Anthologies: Fracas: A Collection of Short Friction ◘ Quixotic: Not Everyday Love Stories ◘ A Chimerical World: Tales of the Seelie Court ◘ Karaoke Jane (coming 2018)

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For Rachel’s poetry and memoirs, go to Amazon