As trauma survivors, feeling or expressing anger over what we experienced, even decades earlier, is a completely normal emotional reaction to a drastic, abnormal situation. We are often taught, especially as children, that anger is bad, rude, or unacceptable.
Anger isn’t good or bad. Like all emotions aren’t good or bad, positive or negative, or even harmful; it’s how we manage our emotions and how they manifest that can have consequences (not always negative; see more below). The problems start when anger becomes hostile or morphs into aggressive behaviors that cause harm.
Anger, manifested in a way that helps and doesn’t harm, can be a powerful motivator. Let’s discuss…
The Role of Anger
Anger is an emotion that has been considered taboo in our society for far too long. It is often seen as a negative emotion, however, it can be beneficial if used appropriately. In certain cases, it can signal the presence of underlying issues such as trauma or mental health issues and should be addressed accordingly.
When dealing with our own anger, it is important to understand why we feel this way and how we can manage it in a healthy manner. It can act as a protective mechanism against difficult situations and provides us with the strength to confront them without fear or hesitation. If we never learn how to recognize when our emotions are running high and take steps to address them properly, then these feelings may manifest in more harmful ways down the line.
Therefore, understanding the role of anger in our lives is critical for both personal growth and successful relationships with those around us.
In my own healing recovery journey, I learned to welcome anger. Whether it’s from wrongs someone did, or misplaced anger at someone, learning to sit with this emotion instead of doing anything to avoid feeling uncomfortable is a learned behavior, and is connected to understanding emotional intelligence.
Why am I angry? Ask yourself that question to start the healing process.
1. Benefits of Anger
We all experience anger at some point in our lives, and it can be a powerful tool for transformation. When used correctly, anger can have tremendous benefits for our mental health and can even help us heal from past trauma.
It’s important to recognize that anger is not something to feel ashamed of or to suppress; rather, it can be an opportunity to better understand ourselves and the world around us. By confronting the things that make us angry, we are able to develop greater insight into what we need in order to thrive emotionally. Anger also helps give us the energy and focus necessary for change.
When we learn how to use our anger constructively, it provides a pathway toward healing old wounds and creating meaningful relationships with others.
Anger has absolutely inspired and motivated me to do better, reach further, or walk away.
2. Physiological Effects
Anger can be a difficult emotion to manage, and it’s natural for people to experience it from time to time. However, when anger gets out of hand and is not managed properly, it can have serious physiological effects on our mental health.
The body reacts physiologically when we become angry, whether in response to an upsetting situation or simply because of an overwhelming feeling of frustration. The heart rate increases and the body releases adrenaline and cortisol into the bloodstream; these hormones are known to trigger aggression in some individuals. In addition, anger causes a decrease in serotonin levels which can lead to mood swings or depression.
It’s important that people understand our triggers for anger so we can better recognize them and take steps toward managing our reactions before things get out of control.
Tip: Move your body, write it out, do some grounding exercises, put on some music, pet your cat. Redirecting that anger into other activities, particularly creative endeavors, stimulates different areas of the brain than anger, allowing you to move away from anger into something deeper.
via HelpGuide.org
3. Mental Health Effects
Anger is a natural emotion that can serve to protect us when we are in danger. It can also be a sign of trauma, however, and we must not overlook the effects on our mental health.
When left unchecked, long-term anger can lead to serious mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, irritability, and even poor physical health.
In order to reduce the negative impact on our mental well-being, it’s important for us to understand the source of our emotions and develop healthy coping strategies. Taking some time out for yourself or speaking with a therapist or trauma recovery coach about your feelings can help you get to the root cause of your anger and learn how to better manage it in the future.
Furthermore, engaging in calming activities such as yoga or mindfulness meditation may provide an effective way to regulate your feelings and better manage your reactions when faced with difficult situations.
Anger provides insight into ourselves, as it is the layer of deeper issues that we mostly hide. This is why it is important to trace the trail of anger, and dig down to find and address its source. Only after addressing the blockage that leads to anger can we free ourselves from the misery it sometimes induces.
Tip: As part of the trauma recovery coaching certification program I’m doing right now, they teach us that emotions are in the body; feelings are in the brain.
Pain is a feeling but not an emotion. That’s an easy way to remember the difference between emotions and feelings.
Ask yourself: What am I feeling at this moment in my body? In my mind? Don’t forget your heart and gut instincts. We are powerful beings.
4. Social Effects
Anger is a powerful emotion, and when it’s expressed in a healthy way, it can be an effective and positive tool for resolving conflict. However, when it’s allowed to become overwhelming or uncontrolled, the social effects of anger can be damaging to both mental health and interpersonal relationships.
Individuals who are prone to uncontrolled outbursts of anger may find themselves increasingly isolated from family members, friends, colleagues, and other people they interact with on a daily basis. This can lead to feelings of loneliness and depression as well as long-term trauma if there is no support system available. In addition, individuals may end up in abusive relationships due to their inability to control their emotions.
And while we’re discussing social effects, I’d be remiss without mentioning social media. Lots of angry people on the net. Just because someone engages with you does not mean you have to interact or reply.
Boundaries are wonderful friends.
5. Coping Mechanisms
Anger can manifest in many different ways, from lashing out verbally to shutting down emotionally. In order to best regulate this emotion and protect our mental health, it’s important to identify the various coping mechanisms available to us.
When dealing with anger, mindfulness is key. Taking a moment to pause and reflect on the situation before reacting will not only give you time to think through your options but also help you gain control over how you express your emotions in the long run. Additionally, try talking about how you’re feeling with someone you trust; simply expressing yourself can often provide some much-needed relief and perspective.
For those who have experienced trauma or high levels of stress, it might be beneficial to find an outlet for those pent-up emotions such as exercising, journaling, putting on music you enjoy, reading, art, or doing grounding exercises.
A note on numbness and/or dissociation: We may turn to coping mechanisms that help us turn off strong emotions, such as weed, alcohol, food, or sex (all activities that stimulate the reward centers of our brains). Remember that focusing on sitting with these strong emotions is the best way to understand what exactly is bothering you, and why you’re feeling what you feel.
Unchecked or unmanaged anger can become dangerous. When individuals are not able to effectively process their anger in a constructive manner, they may be at risk of developing an addiction due to the impact it has on their mental health. Anger is often rooted in trauma, and if unresolved can cause further issues such as anxiety or depression. In these cases, people may find themselves turning to drugs or alcohol in order to cope with their emotions.
This behavior can quickly spiral out of control leading to long-term addiction problems. It is important for those struggling with anger and its effects to seek help from professionals who specialize in treating mental health conditions.
Therapy, trauma recovery coaching, and support groups are excellent resources for those dealing with anger-related issues and substance abuse problems.
6. Deeper Truths
Anger can provide an opportunity for reflection and reconnection with our innermost feelings and emotions.
When we focus on managing our anger rather than avoiding or pushing it aside, it gives us access to self-awareness about what is triggering the feeling in the first place.
By allowing ourselves to explore these feelings through mindfulness practices such as journaling or meditation, we can begin to unpack the underlying causes of this emotion – be it mental health issues, trauma, or unresolved pain from the past.
I started sharing the #WriteWhatScaresYou hashtag when I wrote my first Broken book (Broken Pieces), and it still applies. Deep is where our stories lie.
Tip: Want to dip your toe into writing about past traumas? Let’s connect! Sign up for my newsletter to accompany me on my own #WritingTrauma journey in writing a trauma-informed writing guide based on my own recovery, writing skills, and most importantly, with a trauma-researched and informed way to help you focus on feeling safe.
Channeling the Power of Anger
My trauma recovery coach and I are exploring the role anger has in my own life, and we both agree, there’s an almost mystical element to expressing and harnessing anger. I don’t mean religious (though it might be for you).
There’s an alchemy to it, and when we learn how it can help us, we learn how we can help ourselves and others.
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BROKEN PEOPLE, the third in the BROKEN series, is now available for order – ebook and print. My labor of love.
I hope you’ll order and join my journey:
geni.us/BrokenPeople
