Women speak a language all our own.

This is not news to men.


When we say “I’m fine,” the smart men among you have figured out that we are anything but, and you circle around us like vultures going in for the kill. Which you are really…if you have any hope of ever getting laid again. Finding out why we are not fine, usually simply by asking us (it’s not rocket science, dear), is the best way back into our good graces (yes, I mean beds).


Today I’m going to discuss our other language—our non-verbals. You know, the crossed arms, rolled eyes, and quiet glares that at times do quite nicely in place of “oh no he didn’t.”


Surely you know of what I speak.


You are a man, after all.


Let’s deconstruct, shall we?


• Crossed arms: usually when a person (male or female) crosses their arms during conversation, people interpret this as a sign that you have closed yourself off to what they are saying (which may or may NOT be the case. Some people simply prefer to listen with their arms crossed.)






Chicks however, when we are mad or irritated with you, will cross our arms as well as jut out one hip. This conveys that not only are you in the doghouse, but that you are to turn on the groveling channel—clearly you know what channel that is since you control the remote.





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