I had the unfortunate displeasure of watching Kathie Lee Gifford on the later segment of The TODAY Show the other morning as I was getting ready in our hotel room.
I never watch the TODAY show or anything having to do with that annoying woman so I was a little taken aback to see her. Well, actually I heard THAT VOICE. Seriously, why is she still on TV? It must be purely for our entertainment, and not in a good way.
(It pains me to even write her name, so I shall heretofore refer to her as KLG. Hoda is pretty cool though.)
I really have no idea what this particular morning’s show was about (Is it ever about anything? Really?). I just happened to tune in when they had on two guest OB/GYNs. KLG & Hoda were discussing, get this, birth control options.
I thought KLG’s head was going to explode.
The discussion went as such (with a few RachelintheOC flourishes):
OMG—birth control? Cover Kody’s ears! Sex before marriage? NOT MY KODY! I will DIE before that happens. Hurry, Hoda, put those condoms away, KLG hissed. Kody might SEE.
How can people be so CALM about this? asked KLG. The only national emergency I see here is allowing our kids to have sex before marriage. Lock them up! What do you MEAN it’s not a federal crime? she asked Hoda. What kind of country is this?
KLG’s eyes were positively wild with fear. We will not put birth control on TV, NBC. I will quit. Our children cannot know that such things exist, I would bet money she fumed to her producers right before the segment was up. You mean a woman can actually kill a potential LIFE by taking a pill if she thinks she might be pregnant? Well, jeepers, Hoda, I never thought I’d live to see the day. It’s just, just…disgusting is what it is. Look at my face, people. These googly eyes don’t lie.
Honestly, this ridiculously vacuous America’s Sweetheart needs to GO AWAY. Her face was filled with such rage and disapproval over the topic of birth control for our “children.” You could just feel the anger she felt at the betrayal of her religious beliefs being splashed all over national television. How dare their guests mention (gasp!) condoms and emergency birth control for our (slaps cheeks) little babies? We must teach abstinence! Or we should expect God’s wrath.
I’m not saying this only because of my personal beliefs. KLG was an embarrassment to the physician guests trying in vain to get a single word in to their special mother and daughter audience (and hello?) national audience as well. The chick just isn’t doing the job the geniuses at NBC are paying her to do. Call me crazy but somehow inserting your religious beliefs and being judgmental over a teenage national health issue (crisis) seems, to me, like she’s not doing her job.
Poor Hoda – I can’t imagine what it’s like to deal with such a politically close-minded woman, daily. Yet people seem to love this inane waste of space. Why?
Do you want to know what bothers me the most? I’ve never been a fan of hers; I can say that with all honesty. But I did quasi-respect the success she achieved early on in the typically male-dominated arena of morning news of the early 80s. She successfully parlayed that exposure into several admittedly tacky affordable clothing lines of dubious origin, various and sundry gaudy jewelry lines, as well as a questionable singing and acting career. While any shred of respect I had for her was pretty much slim, she made it was easy to go to none from there. (And don’t even get me started on the plastic surgery. Oy.)
So, where does that leave me and KLG? Well, you can be sure I won’t be tuning in to watch her–not that I ever did before. But I damn sure won’t ever tune in again.
Even if I just want to watch her head explode.